The Colbert Report/Episode/556
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro Ron Howard's On The Report! * smoke 'em if you've got em, but since it's New York ... * big celebrity guest: Ron Howard * controversial directors in Hollywood ** latest movie raised shackles in Vatican * boycott The DaVinci Code ** Rhythm method effective * Observatory Romano ** translated review * Ron Howard has the face of evil Relations With Cuba * Obama is having a torrid love affair with socialism ** public groping of Cuba * normalizing relations * Cuba has not earned it yet ** Phil Gringrey wants them to stop playing hide the fist * 2/3 of Americans would support lift of ban on travel to Cuba ** study sponsored by Orbitz * Europeans are trying to * too much dinero at stake ** foreign sales to Cuba would have been $1-billion * ending embargo would do for Detroit ** Cuba is the only country left that will buy cars from Detroit * head of Latin American division of Julia Sweig ** book: "Cuba: What Everyone Needs to Know" * why normalize relations for Cuba ** Stephen wants to do it for the money * in our way ** cannot travel ** cannot ** can't use communication devices ** can't use credit cards * what should we get in return? Elian Gonzales! ** 3,307 since Elian Gonzales * he joined Communist * Raul may just be Fidel shaved * neither is the cute one * why open trade relations with a socialist? * against open trade relations with Philadelphia * give them back Gitmo * why hasn't Cuba collapsed ** or did it come pre-collapsed * dirty secret ** they get certain things from their government Stephen's Sound Advice * tough time to be a Republican * lost 7 governorships, House, Senate and White House * McConnell chairmanship of the Jowel(sp?) Caucus * painful, soul-searching ** without * give the party a full Kenny Rodgers * full time marketing team or Stephen's Sound Advice * How To Rebrand The Republican Party ** change image * follow example corporations * Kentucky Fried Chicken became KFC * Hostess Cupcakes used to be known as Dr. Granger's Snacktime Asbestos treats! * call yourself twitter ** party platform is 140 characters long * update logo ** creature that will be around forever *** the cockroach (a crowd pleaser) *** add music! * doubled for Hispanics * best spokesman ** Geico has talking lizard and caveman ** charismatic and worked with monkeys * new GOP spokesman should be Tony Danza "Going Ape" ** complex metaphor for the estate tax Interview * Ron Howard ** has directed a movie about a secret society called the Illuminati, hopefully he can write a letter of recommendation! * Stephen likes him ** he likes Stephen * he has it in for the Catholic church * he wants to get enraged about it * full of puzzles ** there may be sudokus too * Beautiful Mind is about the guy who invented sudoku * Vatican said was two hours of mindless entertainment that doesn't effect the ... * Jesus saved the church before Robert Langdon ** Stephen gave away the ending of the third movie * religion has a lot of drama * conflict between faith and science ** bomb under Vatican put there by a group (The Illuminati) * the Illuminati controls ** ATM fees * Dan Brown collects conspiracy theories * Stephen wants to see it * his next movie may be Space Pope a mash-up of Apollo 13 and The DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons Epilogue * That's it for the show if any part offended you, it was probably the part where Dr. Colbert called you dummy, dummy. Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments